Kirk Cameron 'Kicks Ass' to Save Christmas

Attention LGBT Community! Make room in your stockings for extra coal this Christmas.

Proving that it's never too early to shop for the right-wing's purported "War on Christmas," former teen heartthrob and full-time evangelical mouthpiece, Kirk Cameron is busy promoting his upcoming film "Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas," due in theaters this November.

In an interview with Glenn Beck's news outlet The Blaze, the former "Growing Pains" star discussed his latest film project, asserting that the holiday (correction - Christmas) film will not be an "angry rant about the culture war."

"It's obvious that there is a deliberate attempt to snuff out the holy root that has produced all this wonderful Christmas-time fruit. I think it's about time someone spoke out and made a movie about this." Cameron said.

Instead, Cameron told The Blaze that some of the claims that will be addressed in the film include: the notion that Christmas is really a church co-opting of winter solstice celebrations, that Jesus was not born on December 25, that Christmas trees are pagan and that consumerism is overshadowing the true reason for the season.

He predicts that atheists won't be flocking to see his movie.

"I assume they're going to get frustrated to see some of their best arguments deflated by this movie, because we take on some of the most commonly parroted myths about the origins of Christmas,"

Santa Claus was unavailable for comment.

In 2012 EDGE reported that the ex-sitcom star was plucked from career obscurity when during an interview with CNN's Piers Morgan, said homosexuality was "detrimental" to society.